Chapter 20: The Almost

Otto fell asleep at eight on Saturday night, in the guest room.

The dinosaur book lay on his pillow, and his shoes stood lined up by the door.

I stood in the doorway until his breathing slowed.

Cavan stood behind me in the hall.

"He asked if the lamp could stay on," he said, very low.

"It's on."

"He asked if you'd be down the hall."

"I'm down the hall."

I pulled the door nearly shut.

We went down the stairs, and neither of us said anything until we reached the porch.

It was cold, and the porch lamp made a yellow circle on the boards.

I had a coat on over my sweater and Cavan had only his canvas jacket, and I could see his breath.

"You'll freeze," I said.

"I'm fine."

"Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"Because you're a civil engineer, and you ought to know that a hand is cold when it turns that color."

He held it out.

I put it into my coat pocket with mine.

It was a plain, practical thing to do.

His fingers were rough and cool, and they laced through mine inside the lining without any plan at all.

Neither of us pulled away.

"This is a favor," I said.

"It's weather."

"Those are the same thing."

"You keep saying that."

"It keeps being true."

He was looking at me instead of the street.

I felt the heat of him, even through two coats.

His thumb moved once across my knuckles, slow, and he didn't seem to know he'd done it.

Keep reading free with an account. Start After My Miscarriage, My Husband Locked Me Out from Chapter 1, then sign up free to read the rest of this chapter.