Daddy Can You Teach Me Some Naughty Night Things? novel · Chapter 11 of 24

Chapter 11: The Fence

In the morning he was at the stud paddock fence with a cup of coffee, watching the bay stallion graze.

I walked up and leaned on the rail beside him.

"It's morning," I said. "Won't be here to what?"

"Lulu."

"You said ask in the morning."

"I know what I said."

He didn't look at me.

The stallion lifted his head, saw us, and went back to the grass.

"I'm going to tell you something I don't want you to answer," I said.

"All right."

"The night my mother died, you weren't in the room."

His hand tightened on the cup.

"I woke up at dawn and the hospice nurse was sitting on my bed," I said. "She'd already closed Mom's eyes. I went in alone. I held her hand and it was cold."

"Lulu."

"I've never said it to you. I thought if I did, you'd say you had a reason, and I wouldn't want to hear it. I've held it for fourteen months."

I made myself keep looking at his profile.

"Where were you, Ward?"

Nothing moved in his face.

A muscle in his jaw ticked once.

"In the barn," he said.

"I know you were in the barn. The hands told me. I know you sat there all night."

"Yes."

"Why?"

He set the cup down on the fence post.

He turned and looked at me, and his grey eyes were red at the rims.

"I can't tell you that yet," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because it isn't mine to tell. Not all of it."

I felt something close in my chest, hard and bitter.

"Then it's a lie."

"It isn't a lie."

"It's a door you won't open."

"Yes," he said. "That's what it is."

I should have walked away.

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