Chapter 20: The Heartbeat

The ultrasound room at St. Brendan's was dim and small, with a poster of the female reproductive system taped over the sink.

Tobias sat in the plastic chair beside the table, with his big hands on his knees and his coat still on.

"You can take your coat off," I said.

"I'm fine."

"You're sweating."

"It's warm in here."

It was not warm in there.

The technician, a round-faced woman in purple scrubs, squeezed cold gel onto my stomach and I jumped.

"Sorry, hon. Everybody does."

She ran the wand across me.

The screen was gray and grainy, and for a moment I saw only static.

Then a small shape swam up out of it, curled like a comma.

"There," the technician said.

I stopped breathing.

She tapped a key, and the room filled with a fast, soft fluttering.

"Heartbeat's one-sixty-two," she said. "That's right where we want it."

Tobias made a noise.

It was a small, rough sound, and it didn't match anything I knew about him.

I turned my head.

He was staring at the screen with his mouth slightly open.

His eyes were wet, and he was making no effort to hide it.

"That's," he said. "That's it."

"That's the baby," the technician said gently. "Dad can come closer."

He stood up.

He didn't correct her.

He leaned over the table and looked at the screen, with his hand an inch from mine on the paper sheet.

I closed the inch.

His fingers curled around mine, very tight.

"Ten weeks and two days," the technician said. "Everything looks good."

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