He Left Me in the Snow for Her Labor, So I Delivered It novel · Chapter 8 of 24

Chapter 8: The Gurney

I found Roderick in the anesthesia workroom at ten to four.

The lights were low, and a cup of coffee was going cold on a steel cart.

It was a narrow room behind the operating suite, lined with drug cabinets and one folded gurney against the wall.

He stood up when I came in, and he read my face before I said anything.

"She knows," I said.

"The patient."

"Sabine read my badge. Bram told her I was a cold woman who never wanted children." I laughed, and the laugh scraped.

"I wanted them so much, Roderick. I lost two, at eleven weeks and at nine, and he said he was done."

Roderick crossed the room and put his arms around me, and I stood stiff in them for a moment.

Then I put my face against his chest, and I shook.

He didn't tell me it was all right.

He held on and let the shaking run through both of us.

When it ended, I pulled back and wiped my face with the heel of my hand.

"I don't want to be sad anymore," I said. "I want to feel something that's mine."

"Tell me."

"Sit on the gurney."

He looked at me.

"Sit," I said.

He sat, and the vinyl crackled under him.

I stepped between his knees and took his face in both hands.

I kissed him until I felt him pull in a breath through his nose.

Then I started on the buttons of his scrub top, one at a time, with my eyes on his.

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