Chapter 20: Final Answer

"Maddie, please," Dean said from the floor.

The lobby was very quiet.

A resident with a stroller had stopped at the mailboxes.

The neighbor on fourteen had put down her coffee.

"I've been to my mother's," Dean said. "I slept fourteen hours. I woke up and I knew exactly what to say to you."

"Say it, then."

"I'll leave the firm. I don't care about partner. I'll get a plain job and a plain apartment."

His voice shook.

"I'll sign anything you put in front of me. Marry me. Today. I'll never let anyone else decide."

I looked down at him.

I looked at the wrinkled shirt and the red eyes.

I looked at the good hands that had held mine for three years and never once opened a door for me.

"Dean, you're asking me to be the person who decides."

"Yes."

"For you."

His mouth opened and closed.

"That's what she did," I said. "She decided, and you stayed. I'd just be a new woman holding the leash."

"That's not fair."

"No. It's accurate."

Behind him, his mother stood with her arms folded and her face wet, saying nothing.

"I told you I'd say when," I said. "This is when."

He stared up at me.

"The answer is no," I said. "It isn't because of Lydia, and it isn't because of the video."

"Then why?"

"I watched you for three years, and I don't know one thing you ever chose."

"I chose you."

"Lydia chose me. You were sent."

He covered his face with both hands.

I let him.

Reuben did not move.

I felt him there beside me, warm and large and perfectly still, and not once did he try to speak for me.

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