Chapter 10: Rules

He did not carry me across the yard.

He took my hand and we walked it, through wet grass and broken ice.

The sky had gone clear and black.

Hail lay in drifts against the garage wall.

His truck had a dent in the hood the size of a plate.

At the foot of his steps he stopped.

"I still haven't told you," he said.

"Then tell me here."

He turned to face me, rain still dripping from his hair.

"Four days ago, at my mother's Sunday lunch, she said she would see to Rafael's wife by Tuesday."

I felt my stomach drop.

"I heard her. I didn't ask what she meant."

"On Monday I sat on these steps and listened to it through the window."

"And I did nothing."

"You knew."

"I knew something. Not what. I should have asked." His voice did not shake. "I'm telling you because I won't touch you with that in my mouth."

I pulled my hand out of his.

The cold came back all at once.

"I sat in that room for two hours," I said. "I sat there in a dress he picked. And you were out here."

"Yes."

"You could have walked in. You could have said I'm sorry, Odette, my mother's a snake, go to your friend's house."

"I could have."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I'm a coward about my family." He met my eyes. "I'd have to say no to them out loud, and I never have."

I stood in the wet dark, shaking, hurt and furious.

"I wanted to hit you," I said. "I want to now."

"Do it."

"I'm not going to."

"I'd understand."

"I know you would. That's what makes it worse."

I wiped my face with the back of my wrist.

"Now you answer something," I said. "You've been looking at me like I did something to you. Since the closet. What?"

His jaw moved.

"Your wedding day," he said.

"I stood at the back of the courthouse."

"I watched you sign over half your mother's house to my brother, and you never read it."

"I didn't."

"I thought, she's either a fool or she's in love."

"I was neither," I said.

"My mother had been dead nine months."

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