He Was My Stepbrother, So Why Can't I Stop? novel · Chapter 3 of 3

Chapter 3: The Lie She Wears

Lina intercepts Dario's attempt to expose a dark green hair tie on her wrist, turns his accusation into a negotiation, and extracts his promise to approach her only on her terms before he warns her that the next place she chooses won't be private enough to hide what she wants.

Dario's fingers closed around my wrist before I saw him move.

I was at the supply table, reaching for the instant coffee, and then I wasn't.

His thumb pressed against the dark green hair tie, and the small gold ring threaded onto it caught the firelight.

'You kept it,' he said.

I twisted my arm, but he didn't let go.

'Let me see it,' he said.

'No.'

'Then take it off.'

I looked past him. Nicolás was twenty feet away, laughing at something Valeria said, his back to us.

The fire cracked and sent a shower of sparks into the cold air.

'You brought it back to camp,' Dario said. 'You put it on your wrist this morning. You've been wearing it all day.'

I hadn't thought about it. Not once. My hand had found it in the dark and slipped it on, and then it had just been there, under my sleeve, hidden.

I had carried a piece of last night into the daylight without meaning to.

'It's just a hair tie,' I said.

'It's mine.'

'It was on the ground. I picked it up.'

'And kept it.'

I yanked my hand free and stepped back. The table edge pressed into my hip.

'You're making this into something it isn't,' I said.

Dario smiled. Not the quick, careless smile he used on everyone else. The slow one.

The one that said he knew exactly what he was doing.

'Then show Nicolás,' he said. 'Go on. Walk over there and ask him if he's seen this before.'

I didn't move.

'That's what I thought.'

He reached for my wrist again, and I let him take it. His fingers were warm from the fire, and they circled the hair tie like a bracelet.

'You could have left it in the tent,' he said. 'You could have thrown it in the fire. You didn't.'

'It doesn't mean anything.'

'Then take it off and give it back.'

I should have. It would have been so easy. One pull, one small surrender, and the conversation would be over.

But my hand stayed still.

And he saw it.

'Lina.'

His voice dropped, and my name in his mouth was a hand on the back of my neck.

'You're the one who said this only happens where you choose,' I said. 'You made that rule.'

'I remember.'

'Then you don't get to corner me at the supply table and wave evidence around like you caught me doing something wrong.'

His thumb stopped moving over the hair tie.

'I'm not cornering you.'

'You're standing between me and the fire, you're holding my wrist, and you just threatened to show my boyfriend a piece of last night. What would you call it?'

Dario's jaw tightened.

'Careful,' I said. 'Valeria's looking over here.'

He didn't turn. He never looked away from me first.

'You want to make the rules?' he asked. 'Fine. Make them.'

'Let go of my wrist.'

He did.

I pulled my sleeve down over the hair tie, slow, so he could watch me hide it.

'You don't come to me,' I said. 'Not at the campsite, not at the supply table, not when Nicolás is in the same clearing. You wait.'

'For what?'

'For me to decide where and when.'

His eyebrows lifted. 'You think that's how this works?'

'That's how it works if you want it to happen again.'

The fire popped. Somewhere behind us, Camila shrieked with laughter and someone threw a marshmallow.

Dario studied me for a long moment.

'You're not hiding it because you're ashamed,' he said slowly. 'You're keeping it because it gives you something over me.'

I didn't answer.

'That's what this is,' he said. 'You want me to know you have it. You want me to see it on your wrist every day and wonder if today's the day you'll let me touch you again.'

'You're the one who keeps looking at my wrist.'

His smile flickered. 'Fair.'

'So promise me.'

'Promise you what?'

'That you won't come to me unless I choose the place. Unless I choose the time. Unless I tell you it's allowed.'

He tilted his head, and the firelight caught the edge of his glasses and turned them to gold.

'You want me to promise to stay away from you until you say otherwise.'

'Yes.'

'That's a big promise, Lina.'

'Then don't make it.'

I started to turn away. I made it one full step toward the fire, toward Nicolás, toward the easy version of my life where none of this was happening.

'Wait.'

I stopped.

'Turn around,' he said.

I didn't.

'You're going to give me rules,' he said to my back, 'and then you're going to walk away before I answer? That's not how a negotiation works.'

'I'm not negotiating. I'm telling you what it costs.'

A beat of silence. Then his voice, closer than I expected, low and warm at the side of my face.

'Then tell me what I get.'

I turned my head just enough to see him. He was a step behind me, hands in his jacket pockets, looking at me the way he had last night in the dark.

'You get to stop pretending you don't know what you want,' I said. 'And you get to stop chasing me around a campsite like a dog that found a scent.'

He laughed. A real one, short and surprised, and the dimple on his left cheek appeared.

'Careful,' he said. 'You're going to make me think you like me.'

'Don't flatter yourself.'

'Too late.'

Nicolás called my name from across the clearing. 'Lina! Coffee's getting cold over here, babe.'

I didn't look away from Dario.

'Your answer,' I said.

He pulled one hand from his pocket and ran it over the back of his head, quick and restless.

'Fine,' he said. 'I'll wait. I'll let you choose the place and the time. I'll keep my hands to myself until you tell me otherwise.'

'Promise.'

'I promise.'

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

'Good,' I said, and I walked away from him, toward the fire, toward my boyfriend, toward the life I was supposed to want.

Nicolás handed me a tin cup of coffee and kissed my temple. 'Everything okay? You were over there a while.'

'Just talking about the hike tomorrow,' I said. 'Dario has opinions about the trail.'

'He's thorough, I'll give him that.' Nicolás laughed. 'The man did his homework.'

I smiled and leaned into his side, and I did not look at Dario.

But I could feel him behind me, and I knew he was still watching.

And I knew he would keep his promise. Because Dario never said sorry, and he never broke his word.

That was the thing about him. He was reckless with everything except the things that mattered.

And I was starting to understand that I mattered to him more than I wanted to admit.

The fire crackled, and Valeria launched into a story about a bear she saw last summer, and the group laughed together, and for a little while I almost forgot that I was wearing a secret on my wrist.

Then I reached for my coffee with my left hand, and my sleeve slid up, and the dark green hair tie caught the firelight again.

I pulled my sleeve down fast.

Too fast.

Camila noticed. 'Hey, is that the hair tie I loaned you? I was wondering where that went.'

My heart stopped.

'Yeah,' I said, and my voice came out a little too bright. 'Sorry, I keep meaning to give it back. It's been on my wrist all day and I keep forgetting.'

'No rush,' Camila said. 'It looks good on you. The green matches your sweater.'

I laughed, too quick, too high.

'Thanks,' I said. 'I'll get it back to you before we leave.'

She turned back to the fire, and the moment passed, and nobody looked at me strangely.

Nobody except Dario.

He was standing at the edge of the firelight now, arms crossed, watching me with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

He knew.

He knew I had just lied about the hair tie, and he knew why, and he knew I had just made him promise to stay away while I wore his secret on my wrist for everyone to see.

I looked away first.

I always looked away first.

But this time it didn't feel like losing. It felt like choosing.

The group settled into the evening. Someone passed around a bag of marshmallows. Nicolás pulled me closer and rested his chin on top of my head. The cold crept in from the trees, and I pulled my sleeves down over my hands, hiding the hair tie completely.

Later, when the fire burned low and people started drifting toward their tents, I went to the supply table to help pack up.

Dario was already there.

He was folding a camp chair, his back to me, and he didn't turn around when I stopped beside him.

'You told Camila it was hers,' he said quietly.

'I know what I told her.'

'That was quick thinking.'

'I've had practice.'

He set the folded chair against the table and finally looked at me. The fire was almost out now, and the only light came from a lantern hanging on the tent pole behind him.

'You know what I think?' he said.

'I'm sure you'll tell me.'

'I think you're better at this than you want to admit.'

'At what?'

'Keeping secrets.'

I didn't answer.

He took a step closer, and I didn't back away.

'You made me promise to wait for you to choose the place,' he said. 'So choose. Tell me where you want the next time to be.'

'Not here.'

'Then where?'

I looked at him, and for a long moment I let myself imagine it. The city. My apartment. The studio after hours. A car parked somewhere dark.

'Somewhere I can walk away from,' I said. 'Somewhere I can leave when I want to leave.'

He nodded slowly.

'That's smart,' he said. 'You're always smart about everything except the things that matter.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'It means you're still standing here with me instead of walking away.'

I opened my mouth to answer, and then I closed it.

Because he was right.

'Go back to your tent, Lina,' he said. 'Before Nicolás comes looking for you.'

'Is that an order?'

'It's a suggestion. You made the rules, remember?'

I nodded.

'Goodnight, Dario.'

'Goodnight, Lina.'

I turned and walked away, and this time I didn't feel him watching me. I felt him letting me go.

And that was worse somehow. That was the thing that made my chest tight and my hands cold.

Because he had promised to wait, and he was keeping his promise, and now the waiting was mine.

The next move was mine, and I had no idea what it would be.

Nicolás was already in the tent when I got back, sprawled on his sleeping bag with his phone in his hand.

'Hey,' he said. 'You were gone a while. Everything okay?'

'Just helping clean up.'

'You're always helping.' He smiled and reached for me. 'Come here. It's freezing.'

I crawled into the tent and into his arms, and he wrapped the sleeping bag around both of us.

'You're cold,' he said, rubbing my arms. 'You should have come back sooner.'

'I'm fine now.'

He kissed my forehead and went back to his phone, and I lay there in the dark with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

And all I could think about was the hair tie on my wrist.

All I could think about was Dario's voice in the dark, and the promise he had made, and the question he had asked.

Tell me where you want the next time to be.

I closed my eyes, and I didn't sleep.

I lay awake for a long time, listening to Nicolás breathe, feeling the weight of the secret on my wrist like a brand.

And when I finally did sleep, I dreamed of a door that neither of us had opened yet.

In the dream, I was the one who opened it.

I woke before dawn, cold and restless, and I slipped out of the tent without waking Nicolás.

The camp was silent. The fire was dead. The sky was just beginning to lighten over the pines.

I walked to the supply table and stood there for a long moment, looking at the dark shape of the forest.

Then I heard footsteps behind me.

I didn't turn around.

'You couldn't sleep either,' Dario said.

'No.'

He came to stand beside me, close enough that I could feel the warmth of him in the cold air.

'You're still wearing it,' he said.

I looked down at my wrist. The hair tie was there, dark against my skin, the gold ring catching the first light.

'Yes,' I said.

'Why?'

'Because I want to.'

He was quiet for a moment.

'Then choose,' he said. 'Choose the place, Lina. Right now. Tell me where you want me to take it off.'

I turned to look at him, and his face was serious in the gray light.

'The city,' I said. 'Next week. My studio after hours. Petra won't be there.'

He nodded slowly.

'Your studio,' he repeated. 'Where you're the sharpest eye in the room.'

'Don't.'

'Don't what?'

'Don't make it sound like something it isn't.'

'Then tell me what it is.'

I looked at him, and I didn't have an answer.

'It's a place you can walk away from,' he said quietly. 'That's what you asked for. Somewhere you can leave when you want to leave.'

'Yes.'

'Then I'll be there.'

He reached out and touched the hair tie on my wrist, just once, light as a breath.

'But you should know something,' he said.

'What?'

He smiled then, slow and certain, and the dimple appeared on his left cheek.

'The next place you choose won't be private enough to keep Nicolás from seeing what you want.'

I stared at him.

'What does that mean?'

'It means you can pick a locked room,' he said, 'but you can't lock away the way you look at me. People see things, Lina. They see the way you watch me when you think nobody's looking.'

'I don't watch you.'

'You do. And one of these days, Nicolás is going to see it too.'

He turned and walked away, back toward his tent, and I stood there in the cold gray light with my heart pounding.

And I knew he was right.

I knew it, and I couldn't stop.

I pulled my sleeve down over the hair tie, and I watched him go, and I didn't move until the sun came up.

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