Her First Time, Their Power Game novel · Chapter 4 of 24
Chapter 4: What She Is
Auguste's office was on the ninth floor of a glass building by the Rhône, and at eight o'clock on Monday night the whole floor was dark.
His secretary had gone home.
The only light came from the lamp on his desk.
He didn't get up when I came in.
He sat behind the desk in his dark coat, with a sheaf of papers in front of him, and he let me stand on the carpet while he finished signing a page.
It took a long time.
I counted the pages he turned.
"Close the door," he said, not looking up.
I closed it.
"Come here."
I walked around the desk and stopped beside his chair.
He put down the pen.
Then he looked at me, from my shoes to my face, with the cold grey stare I had been afraid of for three months.
It didn't frighten me tonight.
It made my skin tight.
"Page six," he said. "Read it to me."
"I know what it says."
"Read it."
I took my own copy out of my bag with a hand that wasn't quite steady.
"I want to be called what I am," I read. "Slut. Whore. Little bitch. I want to be told how stupid I am and how much I need it. I want to be slapped and made to say thank you."
"Go on."
"And I want to be spat on."
My voice cracked on the last word.
"You wrote that last in smaller handwriting," he said.
"I was embarrassed."
"You're not embarrassed now?"
"I am."
"Good," Auguste said. "Stay embarrassed. Take everything off."
I undressed in front of his desk.
Shirt, skirt, the plain white bra, the underwear I had chosen on purpose.
He watched me without moving a muscle.
When I was naked, he leaned back in the leather chair and laced his fingers across his stomach.
"Look at you," he said. "A silly little girl in a grown man's office. Do you know what you look like?"
"No, sir."
"A slut who couldn't wait."
My breath went out of me.
I had read the words in books. I had said them to myself in the dark.
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