How to Say Our Final Goodbye novel · Chapter 17 of 24

Chapter 17: Headlights

I took the back stairs two at a time in my mother's green dress.

Kirsten's heels were clattering somewhere below me.

A door banged.

I hit the bottom landing and shoved through the fire door onto the hotel drive.

It was raining hard.

The kind of summer rain that comes straight down and bounces a foot off the pavement.

The white Porsche was parked where it always was, right under the green awning, where the valets weren't allowed to park anything.

Kirsten was already behind the wheel.

The engine caught with a roar that bounced off the stone.

The headlights came on.

They hit me full in the face.

For one second I wasn't on Wacker Drive in July.

I was on a road by O'Hare at five in the morning, and the snow was coming down sideways, and the light was getting bigger.

My knees locked.

I didn't run.

I walked out into the middle of the drive and stood in front of her car.

The rain plastered the green silk to my legs.

I could see her through the windshield, between the wipers.

Mascara down both cheeks.

Her veil comb still in her hair.

She rolled the window down and screamed at me over the engine.

"Move!"

"No."

"I'll do it, Clem! I swear to God I'll do it!"

"I know you will," I said.

She revved it.

The whole car rocked on its wheels.

Behind me, I heard the revolving door turn, and turn again, and voices coming out under the awning.

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