I Was Never Their First Choice novel · Chapter 13 of 24
Chapter 13: Hit Me, I'll Stand Here
"You let me carry it," I said.
My voice came out flat and quiet, and Kjell flinched at it more than he would have at a shout.
"You let me walk in your gate believing I was what the bowl had left over."
"Yes."
"You watched me fall off that bridge and pulled me out of the river, and told me you'd waited a long time for my coat."
"I had."
"It was never yours to keep quiet!" I got up off the floor.
The letter was still in my fist, crushed, and I threw it at his chest.
It bounced off and landed between his boots.
He did not pick it up.
"All this time," I said. "You sat across a table from me and watched me hate my own name."
"I did not want you to stay because you were owed."
"You didn't want me to stay because I'd been wanted?"
"I wanted you to stay because you chose it."
"I chose it without knowing a thing!" I said. "How is that a choice?"
He had no answer for that.
He stood with his hands open at his sides, scar white along his jaw, and took it.
That was the worst part.
I wanted him to defend himself so I could hit something.
"Say you were wrong," I said.
"I was wrong."
"Say it like you mean it."
"I was wrong to let you read it from a page instead of hearing it from me." His voice dropped. "I have been wrong about that every day since the lot. Hit me, Solveig. I will stand here."
So I did.
I crossed the room and slapped him, open-handed, as hard as I could.
His head turned with it.
He turned it back and looked at me.
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