Chapter 16: Your Terms

I did not go home after the board.

Marit had Poppy until morning, and she had told me over the phone not to come back before ten.

At eight that night I knocked on Jonas's door with my coat buttoned wrong.

He opened it in a gray T-shirt, with a dish towel on his shoulder.

"I heard," he said. "The whole hospital heard. Seventy-two beats a minute."

"I'd give her a one."

"You gave her a one in front of five directors." He let me in. "I could not have stood it."

I kicked off my shoes in his kitchen and leaned on the counter.

The adrenaline had finally run out of me. I was shaking again, and this time it was not from the cold.

"Eleven days to the hearing," Jonas said.

"I know."

"Nothing until the hearing is over. Those were the terms."

"I know the terms."

"You wrote them. You said his lawyer would use it." He folded the towel and set it down, and his mouth was straight. "Hands to yourself, Nina."

He had thrown my own line back at me, the one I had said at Marit's sink.

I looked at him and felt my face go hot.

"You think that's funny."

"A little."

"I'm breaking them again."

"Say it plainly."

"I want you to fuck me in this kitchen, Jonas. Right now."

He crossed the floor in two steps.

His mouth came down on mine, hard and hungry, and my back hit the edge of the counter.

I pulled his shirt over his head. He tugged my sweater off, then my bra, and for a moment he only looked.

"Fuck," he said under his breath. "You don't know what you do to me."

"Show me."

I put my hands on his belt.

He watched me undo it. I pushed his jeans and his briefs down together, and his cock sprang free, thick and flushed and already wet at the tip.

I went down on my knees on his kitchen tile.

"Nina."

"Let me."

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