Life after Goodbye novel · Chapter 17 of 24

Chapter 17: Ansel's Debt

Kendrick stayed in the car with the engine running, and I went into the warehouse alone.

The side door was unlocked.

Inside, the work lights were off except one over the loading dock, and the shelving ran up into the dark.

Ansel sat on a pallet of cedar boards with his jacket beside him and his tie in his fist.

He didn't look up when my shoes sounded on the concrete.

"I was going to drive to the lake," he said. "I got as far as the river."

"Why?"

"To think. I couldn't find a way to do it in the car." He turned the tie over. "How is Dad?"

"With the board chairman. They took him home."

"Good."

I sat down on the pallet across from him.

The cedar smelled sharp and clean, and the cold came up through my dress.

"Ansel, I want to tell you something, and I want you to hear all of it."

"All right."

"I've never said it, and I've done it every day for nine years."

He lifted his head.

His eyes were red, and his face was grey with tiredness.

"When Mom died, you stood next to me at the church," I said. "I was nineteen. I was crying so hard I couldn't stand up."

"Calla."

"You put your mouth by my ear and you said, Don't cry in front of Dad."

He closed his eyes.

"I did what you said," I said. "I stopped. I didn't cry at the grave, or at the house, or when he started eating dinner alone. Every time somebody pushed, I swallowed it and smiled, because you told me that was how to help him."

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