Chapter 5: Hampden Door

Niko was standing on my front step at eleven that night, and for a moment I thought he was a stranger.

I had come home from the hospital library, where I read case files after hours.

The porch light of the Hampden rowhouse caught him from behind.

He wore the good navy overcoat with the collar turned up and his hands jammed in the pockets.

He had lost so much weight that the coat hung off his shoulders.

"Fay," he said.

I stopped on the walk with my keys in my fist.

"Niko," I said.

It was the first time I had said it aloud in eleven months, and it still fit my mouth.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he said.

"I didn't think you were."

"I don't know why I came."

He tried to laugh, and it came out as a cough.

"I took the bus, if you can believe that," he said. "I haven't taken a bus since I was fifteen."

I went up the steps and unlocked the door.

I did not invite him in, and he did not ask.

He stood a step below me with his face in shadow and his eyes full of the light from the hall.

"You saw my father," he said.

"I'm evaluating him. I can't discuss it," I said.

"I know you can't."

"Then why ask?"

"Is he eating?" Niko said.

I looked at him.

It was the same question his father had asked me, almost to the word.

The hair stood up along my arms.

"You're both asking me the same thing," I said. "Neither of you will say why."

"Because we are a family," Niko said.

He tried to smile, and the muscle beside his mouth jumped.

"Did you ever tell him why you left?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Not once?"

"He never asked."

"He wouldn't." Niko looked at his shoes. "He would never ask a woman a question she'd have to lie to answer."