My Groom Walked Out, So His Brother Took His Place novel · Chapter 16 of 32
Chapter 16: No Lies
We drove home from my mother's in silence.
The Gazette lay on the seat between us.
Jude drove with both hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road.
I watched the fence posts go by.
October seventeenth was three months off.
A Saturday, at noon, in the same church.
"He didn't even ask," I said finally.
"No."
"He put it in the paper before he told me."
"He put it in the paper before he told me, either." Jude's mouth was tight. "That's how he does it. He announces it, so you have to go along."
"I'm not going along."
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know yet." I turned the paper face down. "But I want him there. Wendell. I want him standing at that altar where I can see his face."
Jude glanced at me, then back at the road.
"Why?"
"Because he never said it to me. Not once. He said sorry, and he left. I want to hear why."
He was quiet a long while.
"All right," he said.
That night I found his light on.
I walked down the hall in my bare feet and he opened the door before I knocked.
He was dressed, in jeans and a gray T-shirt.
The room smelled of soap.
He had put the Gazette on the bureau and set a lamp beside it, and when I came in he shut the door and locked it.
"I want to say something," Jude said.
"Say it."
"You asked me for no lies. On the road. I never promised," he said.
"I didn't ask."
"You didn't have to." He stood in the middle of the floor with his hands loose. "I want to make it a term. No lies between us from tonight. Whatever it is. If you ask me, I'll tell you, and if I can't, I'll say I can't. I won't say yes, sir to you. I won't leave things out."
I studied his face in the lamplight.
He meant it.
"Then I have a term too," I said. "If I ask, you answer. Even if it's bad."
"Even if it's bad."
"Even if it's about your father," I said.
"Yes."
"Then we're agreed," I said.
He nodded.
He did not move.
"I have one to say first," he said.
"Go on."
"The first day. The register room. You said you'd have said yes to anybody who walked up that aisle."
I felt the blood leave my face.
"I remember."
"I've heard it every night since," he said.
"Jude..."
"I'm not asking you to take it back. It was true, or it was true that day, and I understand why." He kept his voice quiet. "But I want you to know that I heard it. I knew I was the anybody. I've been wondering for two months if I'm still the anybody."
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