Chapter 11: Oak Park

"Mom said I should keep you anyway," Gwen had said, with eighty investors listening.

I didn't wait to see Reuben's face.

I walked out of the Pavilion with my hands shaking, and Alistair's car was at the curb.

"Oak Park," I said.

He didn't ask why.

The kitchen light was on in my mother's house at ten at night.

She stood at the counter in her quilted robe with the phone in her hand, and her eyes went to my face and then away.

Gwen had already called her, then.

"Octavia," she began. "Before you say a word."

"When did you know?"

"Know what?"

"About Reuben. About Gwen."

She put the phone down very carefully.

"July," she said.

The word sat on the table between us.

"She came to me crying. She said she was in love with a man who had a wife."

My mother drew a breath.

"I said make sure he leaves her properly."

"Her."

"You. Octavia, you've always been strong. You're the one who manages. Gwen needs more. She always has."

"I needed more," I said. "I was seven and I needed more. I just didn't scream until I got it."

"That isn't fair."

"It's the first true thing anyone in this house has said to me in years."

My mother's face crumpled, and for a second I felt pity, very clearly, and chose not to act on it.

I took my childhood house key off my ring and laid it on the counter.

"You'll see me when you can say the word 'sorry' without 'but' behind it. Not before."

"You can't just leave your own family."

"I'm not leaving. You are, you just haven't noticed."

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