Offside in the Friend Zone novel · Chapter 13 of 24

Chapter 13: Dock

I made it to the end of the dock before my legs quit.

The lake lay flat and black under the stars, and the cold went through my green dress in one breath.

Behind me the lodge doors opened and shut.

Boots hit the boards, and I knew the step the way I know the Zamboni's engine.

"Put this on," Henrik said.

He held out my parka at arm's length.

"I'm fine."

"Your lips are blue."

I took the parka, and I hated myself for taking it.

"You knew," I said, without turning around.

"You stood in that shed and said okay, and you knew."

"Yes."

"And you got on the plane."

"You told me to."

"You knew I was lying!"

My voice cracked across the ice and came back thin.

"You let me say it to your face, and you let me watch you take it."

"What was I supposed to do?" His voice rose for the first time in twenty-one years.

"You said don't call, with your face shut like a door."

"I was twenty-three, I had a contract, and the one person I'd ever begged for anything was pushing me out of town."

"You could have fought me."

"I'd have lost, and you'd have hated me for it."

"So tell me the reason, Astrid. Tell me what was worth that."

I turned around.

I had practiced for five years, and it came out in four flat sentences.

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