Chapter 14: The Stage

The lumber yard smelled of cut pine and cold oil.

Tony's office sat above the saw floor, at the top of a steel stair.

He had left the lamp on for me and nothing else.

I climbed up at nine on Sunday night with my phone and a thermos of coffee.

I hadn't drunk any of it.

He stood at the window with his back to me.

"Show me," he said, without turning.

I put the phone in his hand with the clinic letter on the screen.

He read it twice.

Then he set the phone down very gently on the desk.

"Normal," he said.

"Everything."

"And he cried in your arms."

"I know."

"Valeria." He turned around.

I had braced for anger, and what I saw instead was a man who could see I was hurt.

"I'm all right," I said.

"You're not, and you don't have to be."

He took my face in both hands and held it, and I let him.

His palms were rough, and warm, and they smelled of sawdust.

It was the first time he had touched me without wanting to take something from me.

I put my forehead against his chest and breathed.

After a minute I stepped back and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"Okay," I said. "The party."

"The party."

He pulled a legal pad from his drawer.

I sat on the edge of the couch under the window, and we went through it.

Lila had given me a flash drive of her whole life at brunch.

She had asked me to build her birthday slideshow.

"Eleven years of us," I said. "She wants the sorority photos, the road trip, the wedding. She wants me to cry."

"Then you'll use her pictures," Tony said. "And you'll put ours in between."

"The garage ticket. The hair tie. The elevator video."

"And the pharmacy list. I photographed every screen on the iPad on Saturday."

"And Brett's letter."

"Last."

I turned the thermos in my hands.

"She's going to stand up first," I said. "Her mother told me she wants a toast and a surprise."

I turned the thermos in my hands again.

"If she announces it in front of everyone as yours..."