Chapter 4: The Benefits Form

The yellow room was not going to be Lily's, and on Monday morning I made sure of it before I left the house.

I called a locksmith and had a deadbolt put on the nursery door.

I set the two keys on the hall table beside the deed to the house, where my brother would see them.

Then I took a personal day and drove to Derek's office.

It was a glass building off the ring road, with a lobby that smelled of carpet cleaner and burnt coffee.

The woman at the front desk knew me.

She had sent Maddie a birthday card every year.

"Mrs. Marsden," she said, and then she saw my stomach and my face. "Oh. Let me call him."

"Don't," I said. "I'll wait."

I sat in one of the leather chairs by the window with my coat on and my hands on my knees.

Eight minutes later the elevator opened and Derek came out in a gray suit.

He had a clean shave and a tired, careful face, and he walked toward me with both palms open.

"Hannah. This is not the place."

"You chose the place on Halloween."

"Keep your voice down."

"I'm not shouting."

Two men from the sales floor had stopped by the coffee machine.

A woman with a lanyard had slowed down in front of the stairs.

"Your mother brought me a custody petition," I said. "And a story about Lily. I want you to say it to me yourself."

He rubbed his forehead with two fingers.

"Lily is my daughter," he said quietly. "I found out last week."

"Your mother said Tuesday."

"Tuesday, then. Colleen told me. She never wanted to, she was protecting me. I took a test, and I'm waiting on the results."

"You're waiting on the results."

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