System Erased Her From My Memory novel · Chapter 5 of 24

Chapter 5: Two Coffees

At ten past three in the morning, I was standing in our kitchen in the dark with the kettle on.

I woke at that exact minute every night.

I had no idea why, and I had stopped asking.

I took down a mug and set it on the counter.

Then I took down another one and set it beside it.

"Two," said Maia from the doorway.

I jumped.

She was in my T-shirt again, arms folded, hair wild from the pillow.

"I do that every night," I said. "It's a habit."

"I know it is. I've watched you do it for five months." She came in and leaned against the fridge. "I never said anything because I thought it was grief. Tonight I want to know who the second mug is for."

"I don't know."

"Don't you?"

"No."

"You went white at the couch this evening. You knocked over a whole carton of noodles."

"I was tired."

"Wes." Her voice was very even. "At the wedding you swore you'd tell me everything the voice said. I let that stand. Now you're hiding something that isn't even from the voice."

The kettle clicked off.

Neither of us moved.

"I saw a restaurant," I said. "A table. A woman laughing."

"Delaney."

"I think so. I didn't see her face. I heard the laugh."

"And you knew it."

"I knew it."

She said nothing.

I could see her jaw working.

"You didn't tell me," she said, "because you thought it would hurt me."

"Yes."

"I'm your wife, Wes. I'd rather be hurt than managed."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry every time." Her voice broke at the edges. "You were sorry about the voice. You'll be sorry tomorrow. When does sorry turn into a man who just tells me?"

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