They Cut Out My Wolf. My Father Hunts Wolves. novel · Chapter 19 of 24
Chapter 19: What Ransom Owes
Eight rifles came up off the porch rail at once.
Ransom stopped at the bottom of the steps and lifted his empty hands.
"I'm not here for her," he said. "I'm not here for anything."
I was standing in the kitchen doorway with Josie asleep against my shoulder.
My father came out past me in his KISS THE COOK apron, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
He looked at Ransom for a long time.
"Lower them," he told the hunters.
They lowered them. Not far.
"Say what you came to say," my father said. "Then get off my land."
Ransom looked up at me.
The porch light was yellow on his face.
He looked older than thirty-three.
He stood shivering, hollowed out and gray.
He went down on his knees in the snow.
Nobody on the porch moved.
"I knew," he said.
His voice was hoarse.
"The old woman told me in July. A pup without its mother's wolf usually doesn't make it. She said it right to my face, and I said do it anyway."
The hunters on the porch were very still.
"I told Mira it was a loan," he said. "I told the pack it was a gift. I told you it was half a year. I knew it wasn't any of those things."
"Why?" I said.
I hadn't meant to ask. It came out anyway.
He looked at the snow between his hands.
"Because she looked at me like I could fix anything," he said. "And you never needed me to fix anything. You had them."
He jerked his chin at my father, at Dagny in the hall behind me, at the hunters.
"I hated that you had them. I signed that book laughing because I thought they were a joke. I never asked what they did because I didn't want to know you had somewhere to go."
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