They Never Loved Me. Now I Don't Remember Them. novel · Chapter 12 of 24

Chapter 12: The Practice

"We go to the police," Devin said. "Today."

He was pacing the kitchen in his socks with the brown bottle in his fist.

"And tell them what?" I asked.

"What you just told me."

"That a girl diagnosed with amnesia remembers a conversation from last year?"

He stopped.

"That my mother crushed a tablet into my cocoa, and I remember it because I stopped taking the tablets?" I said. "The bottle has no label. The doctor is her friend, and the lawyer is her cousin."

"There's the video of the signing."

"It shows me signing. It shows forty people clapping."

He put the bottle down on the table very carefully.

"They'd say you're confused," he said, slowly.

"They'd say I'm confused, and they'd say it kindly," I said. "My mother has been saying it kindly for two years."

He pulled out a chair and sat down hard.

I sat across from him and took his hands in mine.

"I have one thing she doesn't know about," I said. "I remember. She thinks I'm forgetting more every day, and on the first of the month she's going to raise my dose to make sure."

"That's four days from now."

"So she has to keep believing it."

He looked at me for a long moment.

"You want to pretend," he said.

"I want to let her think she's winning. Every one of them. My father, Britta, the doctor." I tightened my fingers on his. "Then I want to take it all back in front of the same people who clapped."

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