They Never Loved Me. Now I Don't Remember Them. novel · Chapter 4 of 24
Chapter 4: The Lawn
My mother came up the walk with both arms already open.
"Lydia," she said. "Oh, sweetheart, thank God."
The deputy stopped at the bottom of the porch steps with his clipboard against his chest.
Across the street, two neighbors had come out onto their lawns with their coffee.
Devin moved to stand between my mother and me, and he did not say a word.
"I'm sorry to do this here," my mother told the deputy. She was already crying, and her voice shook the right amount. "My daughter has a serious illness. She walked out in the rain last night with no phone and no money, and I haven't slept."
"I had my phone," I said.
"Honey, you don't remember that."
"I remember it fine."
"You didn't remember our neighbor's name at your own dinner," she said, gently, to the neighbors across the road.
One of them put a hand over her mouth.
The deputy cleared his throat.
"Ma'am, your mother filed a request this morning to have you taken in for evaluation," he said to me. "It's voluntary. All I need is a signature and you can go home with her."
"I'm eighteen," I said.
"Yes, ma'am."
"So I can say no."
"You can," he said. "I'd ask you to think about it."
My mother held out a single sheet of paper and a pen.
Her hand did not shake at all.
"It's a form, sweetheart. It only says you agree to be seen. Then you'll be home by dinner, and Britta has made your favorite cake."
Britta had stayed by the SUV in her pink coat.
She looked at the gravel.
"No," I said.
"Lydia."
"I'm not signing anything else."
My mother's face did not change, but her eyes went flat.
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