Chapter 4: Ask Properly

At six the library was cold and grey, and the fire had not been lit.

The door stood wide, held by the brass stop.

Cas sat behind the desk in a fresh shirt with a folder closed in front of him, and he did not tell me to sit.

I stood on the rug with my hands behind my back.

"You used the staff stairs after nine," he said.

"Yes."

"You answered my brother's call," Cas said.

"Yes."

"You went into a kitchen with him and you closed the door."

I held his eyes.

"I did."

"Did he touch you without your asking?"

It was the last thing I expected, and I answered before I thought.

"No."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No," I said.

"Did he make you any promise?" Cas asked.

"Cas." It was the first time I had used the short name.

"He told me to be quiet, and then he told me I was good. That's the whole speech."

His jaw tightened, but not at me.

"Then I have no complaint," he said. "I have a rule sheet. You broke three rules in two days, and I should send you home."

"But you won't."

"I haven't decided."

"I'll help." I walked to the desk. "You said on the stairs I'd have to ask. I didn't have the sense to at the time."

He didn't move.

"I'm asking now," I said.

"Properly."

"I want your hands on me. I want to take orders from you, Cas."

He didn't move.

"You tell me what to do, and I do it. The minute I say stop, you stop. Those are my terms."

For a moment the only sound in the library was the clock over the door.

"Those are the best terms I have ever been offered," he said.

He leaned back, and his eyes went over me.

"Shut the door," Cas said.

"You said nobody shuts the doors."

"Leo said that." His voice was low and level. "I said shut it. Do it now."

I crossed the rug, put my hand on the heavy oak and swung it until the latch clicked.

My palm was damp on the wood.

When I turned around he was on his feet, round the end of the desk, close enough that I had to tip my head back.

"Take off your dress," he said.

I undid the buttons down the front of the black housekeeper's dress with fingers that would not quite work.

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