Written to Die for the Angel, So I Exposed Her First novel · Chapter 11 of 24

Chapter 11: Not Cruel

The harbor office stood at the end of the customs quay, a square stone room with a lamp in the window.

Perrine did not knock.

It was past midnight.

The Lord Warden sat alone at the long chart table with his sleeves rolled up and a map of the roads under his hands.

He did not look surprised.

"I thought you might come," Lucan said.

"Then say it again."

"Say what?"

"What you said on the pier. In front of two thousand people." She shut the door and leaned on it. "Cruel. Say it to my face with no one watching."

He put down the pen.

"I was angry."

"You were certain," Perrine said.

"Yes."

"I told you, in the loft, on the day, before any of them, I told you what would happen. You didn't believe me until the clerk-book backed me, and then you said I was cruel for being right."

"The man has four children," Lucan said.

"He has a wife who took forty crowns to lie. He took them too. I don't hate him. I didn't want him to cry. I wanted the Prior off that pier."

"You wanted Aurelie shamed."

"I wanted her stopped," Perrine said.

"It's the same thing."

"No," Perrine said, "it isn't. And you know it isn't, because you looked at her for a half second in the Dowager's hall and you knew." She pushed off the door. "Don't tell me you didn't. I watched you."

His face changed.

For an instant it was almost naked.

Then it shut.

"Get out of my office."

"No," Perrine said.

"Perrine."

"Do you know what the worst part is?" She crossed the floor. "A week ago I was a stranger to you. Tonight I'm the cruel one. You gave me one night and you've given her six years, and every time she's caught, she cries, and you say I know. You say it so fast."

"Because I do know her."

"You don't. Nobody does. That's her whole trick," Perrine said.

"Stop."

"She watched that sailor weep and her shoulders didn't move," Perrine said.

"Stop!"

He was on his feet.

The chair went over behind him.

They were three feet apart across the corner of the table, both breathing hard.

"You do this," Lucan said, hoarse. "You take everything I believe and you turn it over. You've no right to. I walked into that loft and I thought, God, for one night I'll just have it, I'll not think. And every minute since then you've been in my head."

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