After I Fully Prepared for the Apocalypse, the Ungrateful Cried with Regret novel · Chapter 17 of 24

Chapter 17: The Long Night

Nolan's POV

We buried Amos at the edge of the east field, under the old walnut tree he had talked about for four years.

Robin dug most of it herself.

When the last shovel of dirt went down, his dog lay across the mound and would not be moved.

Nobody tried. Robin stood beside it with her palms hanging open at her sides and her eyes dry.

That night I found her in the kitchen at midnight, standing at the sink with the water running over her wrists.

Steam came up off the stream.

"Mom's asleep in the warehouse," she said without turning. "Chelsea's with her. The mechanic has the first watch."

"Then you should sleep."

"I tried. I keep staring at the ceiling tiles."

She shut off the tap.

"There were ninety-two in my hospital room," Robin said. "I was six. I learned every crack in them, because that was the only thing I was allowed to do."

I stayed where I was, by the door.

"A nurse sang to me. She had a bad voice. I don't know her name." Robin dried her hands on her jeans. "Dad came every evening. He sat on the edge of the bed and read me the same book."

"Which one?"

"A book about a bear who lost his hat. It was a terrible book." She almost laughed. "Mom stayed in the hall. I could see her shoes under the door."

"Robin."

"I thought she was too sad to come in. I believed that for twenty-three years."

She finally looked at me.

"Say something true," she said. "Anything. I'm tired of being managed."

I had read her file more than forty times. I had never planned to tell her what was in it.

"There's a page in it with a picture of you at nineteen," I said. "You're coming out of a diner on Main Street, with a coffee."

"Someone followed me?"

"Every year, on your birthday. They photographed you, and wrote a line under it. Subject stable. Temperature 101. Mother cooperative."

Her jaw tightened.

"There's another page," I said. "It's in your father's hand. He wrote it before he died, and nobody at Calder ever acted on it."

"What does it say?"

"If she's collected, someone should tell her I tried to stop it."

It was a long moment before she moved.

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