Chapter 19: Until Morning

He did not move, and I took that for his answer.

I reached up and put both hands flat on his chest, inside the open coat, and this time there was no excuse in it.

"Terms, Kestrel," he said, hoarse. "You're touching."

"I know."

"That's the second rule."

"I wrote it," I said. "I can end it."

I took hold of the wool lapels and pulled his mouth down onto mine.

He made a sound against my lips that I felt in my knees.

He did not grab me.

His hands stayed shut at his sides in the brown gloves, shaking with the effort, and I kissed him harder for it.

The hut was a single room with a stove, a lantern, and a narrow bunk under a grey blanket.

I walked him backward through the door and he went where I put him.

I pushed the coat off his shoulders and it fell on the planks.

I pulled his shirt up over his head, and the lantern showed me his chest, the old scar under his ribs, the faint tremble in his stomach muscles.

"Kestrel," he said. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you on that bunk."

He sat down on it, and I stood between his knees and unbuttoned my own coat.

I took my time with the dress.

I watched his face while I did it, and it was nothing like the face I had feared.

It was open and raw and hungry, and he kept his eyes on mine until the dress was on the floor.

Then he looked.

"God," he said, very low. "Look at you."

"Gloves off," I said.

He pulled them off with his teeth, and the bandage came with the right one, and the burn was healing pink and shiny on the back of his hand.

I took his wrist and set his hand on my hip.

Then I took the other and set it on the other hip, and his fingers spread and held me.

They were warm.

He drew me in and pressed his mouth to my stomach, just under the navel, and I felt his breath go ragged.

"Lower," I said.

He looked up at me, and I nodded.

He slid my underthings down my legs, slowly, and I stepped out of them.

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