Chapter 15: The Tub

The tub in 2B was an old cast iron one with feet, and Perry had filled it too full.

I stood in the bathroom door with my sleeves pushed up and watched him take off his flannel with his back to me.

"I thought you'd say you were tired," he said.

"I am tired."

"I thought you'd want to sleep."

"You thought," I said.

He turned and gave me a crooked, grateful smile.

"I don't know what you want," he said. "I filled the bath because I wanted one."

"Good. That's a reason."

I undressed in front of him, which was easier than it used to be.

He got in first and sat forward with his knees up, and I stepped in behind him.

The water was hot enough to sting.

I slid down until my legs framed his hips and pulled him back against my chest.

He was stiff as a board for a count of ten.

Then his whole weight settled onto me.

I wrapped my arms around his ribs and put my chin on his shoulder.

"Tell me about the first one," I said.

He was quiet so long that the tap dripped four times.

"I was thirty-three," Perry said. "A new super moved into the Linden Arms on the first of September."

"Me."

"You came up the front steps with a toolbox and a duffel bag. You'd cut your thumb on the doorframe."

"I remember a doorframe."

"You said a word," he said, and I felt him smile. "A good one."

"What did you do?"

"I stood on a ladder with a screwdriver in my teeth and I did not say a thing."

I waited.

"I fixed your light. I left your mail in a neat pile."

"I said good morning twice, and both times I said it to the wall."

"Perry."

"I wanted to ask you to dinner every day for ten weeks."

"And you didn't?"

"I thought, she's new, and she's busy, and I'm in a rut. I thought, I'll ask next week."

His hand came up out of the water and held my wrist.

"In November you took the job at St. Brendan's in Madison," he said. "You left on a Tuesday."

"I took the job in the first one, too."

"You said goodbye to everybody. You said it to me in the hall and you shook my hand."

I held him tighter.

"Then I lived thirty-seven more years," Perry said.

"It wasn't a tragedy. I worked. I had friends. Ida and Stan were good to me."

"I never married. I never really went out with anyone."

"I'd pass a woman in a hardware store with a braid and I'd stop in the aisle."

"I looked for your name in the paper, and I never found it."

"I don't know if you were happy."

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