Chapter 14: Nothing Left

Nolan came to Lawndale at nine that night with one duffel bag and no car.

I opened Vicki's door and he stood on the landing with his tie in his pocket and rain in his hair.

"They cut my cards at four," he said. "The condo has a seal on it. Security walked me to the curb."

"Where's your car?"

"It belongs to the company."

Vicki came out of the kitchen with a dish towel on her shoulder.

She looked at him, and at me, and at the duffel bag.

"I'm going to my mother's," she said. "I'll be back at seven. Don't break the couch."

"Vicki."

"I'm saying it with love, Avery."

She took her coat and left, and the door clicked behind her.

Nolan stayed where he was on the mat.

"I'll go if you say it," he said.

"Come in. You're dripping on her rug."

He came in.

The apartment was one room and a kitchen, and the sofa bed was still folded out from the night before, with my blanket on it.

He stood looking at the blanket for a while.

"I need to say something," he said. "Before anything else."

"Then say it."

"You think I married you because I felt guilty about your father."

"You told me that today."

"It's the second reason."

He pushed his wet hair back.

"The first one is that I thought you'd leave," he said. "If I ever stood up in front of my father and said your name, you'd look at me and see him."

"See him how?"

"His son, his money, his face. I thought you were here for the baby. I thought the baby was the only thing that kept you in that courthouse."

I stared at him.

"You thought I stayed for the baby," I said.

"I still half think it."

"Nolan. I walked out of that cafe with a ring on a saucer. Where do you think I was going?"

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