Chapter 11: Nobody Is Watching

At midnight I gave up on sleep and went looking for him.

Nate stood on the deck in a gray T-shirt and sweatpants, his hands on the rail, staring at the black water.

Cold air came off the lake.

I stood in the doorway with my arms wrapped around myself.

"Couldn't sleep either?"

"No."

My phone was in my hand. I turned the screen toward him.

It was a text from Travis, sent twenty minutes ago.

Come home, Lee. Sign the statement and I'll let you keep the house. Corrigan will drop you the second you stop being useful to him.

Nate read it once and handed it back.

"Is that what you think?"

"I think he's the one who calls people useful."

I stepped out onto the boards. They were freezing under my bare feet.

"He's been deciding what I am for ten years," I said. "I'm tired of letting him."

Nate turned around.

The porch light caught the gray at his temples and the old break in his nose.

"Lena. Your rule."

"I made a rule."

"Nothing happens until he says it on camera. You said it in the stairwell. I heard you."

"I know what I said."

"Then I'm going to do what I was told," he said roughly, "and keep my hands on this rail."

I laughed, and it came out unsteady.

"He lied. I know he lied. I don't need him to say it to a lens to find out what's true."

I crossed the last of the cold planks and put both palms flat on his chest.

His heart hit my hand hard and fast.

"I'm asking for this, Nate. Not for revenge. Not to prove anything."

"Say it again."

"I want you."

He let go of the rail.

His hands came up to my face, and he kissed me.

It was slow for about two seconds.

Then his mouth opened against mine, and I made a sound I did not recognize, and he caught it with his tongue.

I fisted his shirt.

He walked me backward through the doorway without lifting his mouth from mine, and the sliding door thumped shut on its own.

His hand slid into my hair.

His other hand found the small of my back and pulled me flush against him, and I felt exactly how hard he was.

I gasped.

"Tell me to stop," he muttered against my jaw. "If you want."

"Don't you dare."

He grinned, a short, startled thing, and then his teeth closed gently on my neck.