He Said Losing My Emotions Was Better, Then He Begged Me to Feel Again novel · Chapter 12 of 24

Chapter 12: The Summons

I did not sleep for two nights, and on the third morning I burned the toast on purpose, just to see if I would mind.

I minded.

I stood at the stove with the smoke rolling up and felt a hot, ugly irritation at the pan, at the toast, at myself.

It was small, and it was mine.

"There she is," Martha said, from the table, and she sounded almost satisfied.

"It's only toast."

"It's the first time you've been angry at anything in thirty days."

"Twenty-six."

"Then you've been counting."

I scraped the black slice into the bin and did not answer.

The feelings had been coming back in pieces ever since the barn.

Not all at once.

A little each hour, as the Stone's hold slipped.

Martha had a theory about that, and she kept it to herself.

At nine, Gillian came in with the diner's apron still tied on and a pot of soup.

"He's sleeping on the floor of the cider mill," she said. "I took him a sandwich. He's lost weight."

"Good."

"Mira."

"I said good."

"No, you didn't." She set the pot on the stove. "You said it with your jaw. That's how you used to say it in sixth grade when a boy stole your lunch."

I opened my mouth, and shut it.

"He asked me to bring you this," she said, and put a paper bag on the table.

Inside were four Cortland apples, the kind we sold at the market.

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