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He Thought Tuesdays Were Pottery, Now He Begs Me Home novel · Chapter 11 of 24

Chapter 11: Terms

Cliff opened the door in a gray T-shirt and bare feet, holding a spatula.

"You said Friday," he said.

"I'm early."

"I'm making eggs," he said.

"It's ten at night."

"I'm a very confident man," Cliff said, and stepped back.

The loft was one long room above the bike shop, with brick walls, a sagging couch and three bikes on hooks.

In the kitchen, a pan was smoking.

He turned off the burner.

Then he stood in front of me with the spatula still in his hand, and neither of us said anything for a moment.

"I have terms," I said.

"Of course you do," he said.

"One. No keys. I'm not giving you mine and I'm not taking yours."

"Okay," he said.

"Two. No rings. Not for a long time, and not as a surprise."

"Okay," he said.

"Three. I say when."

"When what?" he asked.

"Everything."

He put the spatula down.

"That's the best contract I've ever signed," Cliff said. "I've never been in a room with a better lawyer."

"I'm not done."

"Go on."

"There's a man I was married to for five years," I said. "I'm not going back to him. But I'm not going to lie to you and pretend I've finished with all of that. I haven't."

"I know."

"I'm only eight days out," I said.

"Joss."

He said my name quietly, from three feet away.

"I came to your wedding," he said.

I stared at him.

"I sat in the last pew in a rented suit," he said. "I watched you walk up the aisle in your father's watch, because you didn't have anything else of his."

"I made it as far as the vows. Then I got up and left, because I was in love with you and you looked so goddamn happy."

"Cliff," I said.

"You never knew," he said. "I wanted you to know now, so you're not walking into this with a man who's pretending to be calm."

"I didn't know."

"I know you didn't."

I crossed the floor.

"You're not calm?"

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