Chapter 23: Two Weeks

I did not go home that night.

I walked the waterfront in the rain until my feet hurt.

Then I sat on his bench by the ticket booth and read the Lakeshore page on my phone.

They had a spring intake. The deadline was in three weeks.

I sat looking at the application form until the first boat of the morning came in.

Then I called Maggie at the hotel and told her I was fine.

I went back to my studio and slept for four hours.

At noon I found him.

He was on the pier with his hands in his jacket, standing exactly where I had found him two weeks earlier.

His eyes were red, and I thought he had been there all night.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi."

"I'm not here to forgive you."

"I didn't think you were."

"I'm here to be fair," I said. "I read your letter. I read the lease."

"You gave up something big, and you didn't ask me, and I am so angry I can taste it."

"That's fair."

"And I'm also in love with you."

His whole face changed.

It went from careful to stunned, and then it went very young.

"Don't," I said, and held up a hand. "I'm not finished."

"Sorry."

"I said it because it's true, and because I want it on the record before I tell you the rest."

He nodded slowly.

"Lakeshore has a spring intake," I said. "You can reapply. The deadline is in three weeks."

"Hazel."

"I'm not asking you to go. I'm asking you to decide it. Not for me, and not to impress me."

"I want you to pick it or not pick it with nobody watching," I said.

"I picked Seattle."

"You picked me. That's not the same thing."

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