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I Don't Want Your Love Out of Pity novel · Chapter 15 of 32

Chapter 15: What He Took

"Don't," I said.

He stopped in the doorway with one hand on the frame.

"Don't say my name like that. Say what's in the letters."

He looked at the floor, at thirty-six envelopes spread across the boards, and he nodded once.

"The surgeon in Zurich could fix your spine," Conal said. "Or he could not. He said it was one chance in four that you wouldn't come off the table."

"You told me nothing."

"I know."

"You let me sign my settlement to Dane. You watched me do it."

"I sold the north pasture lease for the deposit," he said. "That was mine. I didn't touch your settlement for it. Then I flew to Zurich with your scans, and the man sat across a desk and told me those numbers."

His voice was very even.

I think that was how I knew he had said it to himself every night.

"You were alive, Leandra. You were in a chair, and you were laughing at something Odette's cousin said on the phone, and you were alive. I walked out of that office and I couldn't make myself book the flight."

"It was my back."

"I know."

"It was my life, and it was my one in four."

"I know that."

"Then why did you decide?"

"Because I couldn't lose you."

I laughed.

It came out of me ugly and short.

"You told me it was gone. You let me think I had thrown it away for your ranch. For three years I thought, at least he's safe, at least the Sweetgrass is safe."

"I couldn't say it was my choice, because you'd have hated me."

"I do hate you."

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