Chapter 13: Negotiating With God

Lacey came out of her bedroom at ten to seven and found the CEO of Kincaid Hotels in my kitchen wearing a towel.

She looked at him. She looked at me, in his shirt, holding a mug that said World's Okayest Closer.

"Good morning, Mr. Kincaid," she said.

"Good morning."

"I'm going to the bathroom now. When I come out, none of this will have happened, and I will be very supportive about it."

She went into the bathroom and locked the door.

Through it she said, "There's more tea."

"We're fine," I called.

"I wasn't asking," said Lacey.

By nine we were in Thatcher's study on the penthouse floor, and he had locked the black notebook in the wall safe behind a painting of a lighthouse.

"Nobody has the code but me," he said.

"Good. Now I'm going to bargain with God."

"With the System."

"It's the same department."

I stood in the middle of his rug, put my hands on my hips and spoke to the ceiling.

"Hello. I'd like to speak with whoever handles escalations."

The chime sounded.

"Escalations are not available," the voice said. "Penalty for unauthorized appeal: one shock."

It went through me from teeth to heels. I sat down on the rug.

Thatcher was down beside me before I finished falling. His hand was flat between my shoulder blades.

"One," he said quietly. "Two. Three. Four."

It stopped.

"That's the thing about a first offer," I said, when I could. "It's never the real one."

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