I Was Done Begging novel · Chapter 19 of 24

Chapter 19: One Hour

I went down to the lobby alone.

My mother walked three steps behind me.

She stopped by the gift shop window and stayed there with her arms folded.

Two security guards stood at the desk with their hands on their belts, watching the man in the middle of the floor.

Julien had been sitting on a bench by the elevators.

He stood up when he saw me.

His tuxedo trousers were still stained at the knees, and his shirt was open at the throat.

He smelled of whiskey from ten feet away.

"Celia."

"You've been here since midnight."

"I heard about Lucas. I wanted to know if you were hurt."

"I'm not."

"Thank God."

"Don't say that," I said. "You don't get to say that."

He flinched.

A nurse at the desk looked up and then pretended not to.

"I can't sleep," he said. "I keep thinking about the christening. I've gone over it a hundred times."

"Have you?"

"I'd planned for you to scream. I had Mother's lawyer ready."

"I'd have said you were unstable, and I'd have had you sedated."

He stopped.

"Go on," I said.

"But you didn't scream."

"No."

"You gave my son a medal and you wished him health. And then you were gone."

He shook his head.

"Why didn't you beg me? You always begged."

"You begged me for a dinner, an anniversary and a night, and I never had to do anything but wait."

The lobby was quiet.

I thought about the girl who had stood outside his office in the rain with a paper bag of his favorite food.

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