I'm Done Being the Family Joke novel · Chapter 15 of 24

Chapter 15: Strike It

I waited until his father was in bed.

Cal was in the tack room oiling a saddle that didn't need it, with the envelope somewhere in his coat on the hook by the door.

"What do you owe my father?" I said.

He didn't look up.

"It's between me and Russ."

"It's on paper from my family's store, and your hand shook."

"Della."

"Tell me."

"No." He set down the rag. "You've got enough of your family on you. I'm not putting this on you too. I'll keep you clear of it, the way I should have kept you clear of all of it."

"Keep me clear."

"Yes."

Something in me gave way.

"Somebody should keep that girl away from anything that burns," I said.

Cal's face emptied.

"I was nineteen," I said. "I was standing in the parking lot behind the fire trucks in my father's coat, with my hair smelling of smoke. You said it to the whole town, and you knew I was ten feet away."

"I knew."

"Eight years, Cal. I've heard it every time somebody lit a barbecue. I heard it on the night you kissed me in your truck."

"I know."

"Say something other than I know."

He crossed the room in two steps and stopped just short of touching me.

"I was twenty-three," he said. "I'd carried hose for six hours, and our whole winter's hay was ash. You were the one name anybody had. I said it to hurt somebody." His voice cracked. "I watched you hear it. I've watched that all these years."

"Don't apologize again."

"What do you want?"

I took hold of the front of his shirt in both fists.

"I want you to stop being careful with me."

He kissed me hard, and it was the answer.

It was nothing like the stove night.

There was no slow in it.

My back hit the tack room door, and the latch rattled, and he swore into my mouth and lifted me against the wood.

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