Lover on Loop: Her Cruel Revenge Game novel · Chapter 18 of 24

Chapter 18: The Drawing

The flashlight lay on my kitchen table for four days before I let myself touch it.

She had left it on my cot on purpose.

In nine cycles she had never let it out of her hand.

On day seventy I sat down in front of it with a cup of cold tea and a butter knife.

The head unscrewed.

It was an ordinary child's flashlight, yellow plastic with a rubber grip.

Between the batteries and the barrel, a roll of paper had been pressed in tight, so thin it never touched the light.

I eased the paper out with the knife handle.

It was a page torn from a drawing pad, creased soft.

I flattened it on the table.

Benji had drawn it in crayon.

There was a field, green, in thick strokes that went off the edge.

There were three figures.

The tall one on the left had a stick in his hand with a blob at the end, and brown scribbles on top, and I knew the stick was a brush and the scribbles were my hair.

The woman in the middle had yellow hair down to her feet.

The boy on the right was smaller than either of them, in a yellow coat, holding a yellow circle.

Above them were dots.

Hundreds of them, yellow and orange, filling the whole top of the page.

Across the bottom, in letters that ran uphill, he had written ME AND MOM AND ASA.

He had drawn the S in my name backwards.

I put my left hand over my mouth.

I stayed there a while.

When I could see again, I turned the page over.

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