Chapter 16: The Selfish Thing

We had four hours before moonrise.

Corwin spent the first of them at the foot of our bed with a letter in his hand.

"I should have given you this a month ago," he said.

I took it and read it by the window.

It was one page in my mother's tidy slanting hand, asking my husband to bring me home and not to frighten me with details.

I read it twice and folded it along its creases.

"It's what you said it was," I said.

"I told you it was."

"I know. I wanted to read it myself."

He gave a short laugh and rubbed his face.

I put the letter on the sill and sat on the edge of the mattress with my hands between my knees.

The room was grey with afternoon. Somewhere below us the pack was dragging firewood out to the circle.

"Can I tell you something stupid?" I said.

"Always."

"When I found out you'd known, I wasn't only angry."

"I know."

"No, listen. Part of me thought, of course he did. Of course he'd manage me. That's what he does, he's kind."

His face went still.

"For four years I've thought you married me out of pity."

"I was a girl with no mate, a bad family and a small wolf."

"And you're the sort of man who can't leave a thing alone."

"And last night my wolf howled for Alaric, and I thought, there it is. That's the real thing."

"A bond from the moon, and then there's the thing you do out of kindness."

I looked up.

"I think I've been waiting for you to say it was over since the day you put the ring on."

For a moment he said nothing at all.

Then he crossed the room and went down on one knee in front of me, so that his eyes were level with mine.

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