I Paid My Grumpy Neighbor to Be My Fake Boyfriend, and He Took the Job Way Too Seriously novel · Chapter 3 of 24

Chapter 3: Scout

Her brother Jae arrives on campus unannounced to test the couple over lunch, Eli knows things about Hana he shouldn't, and Jae shows her Mina's text asking how much she's paying him.

My mother put her hand on her chest.

"He has manners," she said, to someone off-screen. "Yeobo, come here. He has manners!"

My father's face appeared next to hers, in his reading glasses.

He looked at Eli for a long time.

"Show me your teeth," my father said.

"Appa!"

Eli smiled at the camera.

It was the first time I'd ever seen him smile, and it was for my father's dental inspection.

"Good," my father said, and left.

My mother asked Eli where he grew up.

"About twenty minutes from you, actually," he said.

"So close! And your parents?"

"My mom. She runs a hospital kitchen."

"A cook! Hana-ya, he'll know good food."

She asked what he studied.

She asked if he went to church.

She asked if he was eating enough, because he looked thin.

He answered every question in that same low, calm voice.

At the end she said, "Mina says she'll be checking, so behave," and laughed, and hung up.

Eli handed me back my phone.

The hallway was very quiet.

"Since when do you speak Korean?" I said.

"Since three o'clock this morning."

"What?"

"There's a video. Twelve minutes. How to greet your girlfriend's parents."

"You watched a video?"

"Four times. Your mother's the decision-maker. You said it yourself."

"I said she'd feed you."

"Same thing."

He went into his room.

I stood there holding the phone.

He'd watched a video four times for a job that paid him by the weekend.

On Wednesday my brother showed up on campus without telling anyone.

I came out of my finance exam and Jae was leaning against my car with three iced coffees.

"Surprise," he said.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was in the area."

"You live in Milwaukee."

"It's a big area."

He handed me a coffee and looked over my shoulder.

"So where is he?"

"He's at work."

"Great. Call him. I'm buying lunch."

"Jae."

"Mina sent me," he said, cheerfully. "You know Mina sent me. Call him."

I called him.

Eli picked up on the first ring.

"My brother's here," I said. "Mina sent him to check you."

There was a pause.

"Where?"

"The diner on Clark."

"Fifteen minutes," Eli said, and hung up.

He walked into the diner in a clean grey T-shirt with his hair still wet.

He slid into the booth next to me, not across.

His thigh pressed against mine under the table.

He put his arm along the back of the seat behind my shoulders.

It was so easy and so natural that I forgot to breathe for a second.

"Jae," he said, and held out his hand. "Eli. She said you'd show up."

"She did?"

"She said you tell Mina everything."

Jae laughed out loud.

"Okay," he said. "I like him."

The waitress came.

Eli spoke before I could open my mouth.

"She'll have the grilled cheese with tomato soup, and a side of pickles. Not the spears. The chips."

The waitress wrote it down.

I stared at him.

I'd never told him that.

I'd never told anyone that, because everyone made fun of the pickles.

"Coffee for me," he said. "Black."

Jae leaned back in the booth and studied us.

"Okay, Eli. Quick questions."

"Go."

"What's her favorite thing to draw?"

"Hands," Eli said. "Always hands. When she's nervous she draws them on whatever's there. Napkins. Receipts. Her own arm."

I looked down.

There was a half-finished hand inked on the paper placemat in front of me.

I didn't remember drawing it.

Jae looked at the placemat, then at me.

"Huh," he said.

"Next question," Eli said.

Jae asked how we met, and Eli told the dryer story.

He told it like it annoyed him.

He said I'd kicked the machine and called it a coward.

I had done that.

I didn't know he'd heard.

Jae laughed so hard he had to wipe his eyes.

When the food came, Eli stole one of my pickle chips without asking.

I slapped his hand.

He took another one.

Jae watched all of it with his chin on his fist.

After lunch Eli went back to the machine shop.

At the door he bent down and kissed my temple, quick and light.

Jae was watching.

That was the rule.

I knew it was the rule, and my whole face still went warm.

Jae walked me to my car.

"Okay," he said. "Truth. Is he real?"

"Of course he's real."

"Because Mina bet me five hundred bucks he's not."

I stopped walking.

"She what?"

"She's sure. She says you've never had a boyfriend for longer than a group project." He shrugged. "I said I'd check. He seems pretty real."

"He is."

"Then don't worry about it."

He opened his car door and paused.

He took out his phone and frowned at it.

"She texted while we were eating," he said. "I wasn't going to show you."

"Show me."

He turned the screen around.

The message was from Mina, sent at 1:14.

"Ask her how much she's paying him."

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