Never Yours Again novel · Chapter 23 of 24
Chapter 23: What Is Your Name
My mother had left for Shawna's with a bag and a very obvious wink.
"I'm sleeping on the couch with the dog," she'd said, at the door. "Don't wait up for me."
Which left Ellis and me alone on the new rug, in the new apartment, with a paper bag of cold noodles between us.
He had spread the rug out himself.
It was dark green, with a worn border, and it covered most of the floor.
We ate with chopsticks, sitting cross-legged, with the radiator knocking behind us.
He took a long time to start.
"I've told it to myself a thousand times," he said at last. "It never came out in order."
"Start with the words," I said. "Say them again."
I put my chopsticks down.
"Then it should be served colder," said Ellis.
His voice caught on the last word.
"You laughed," he said. "You were crying, and you laughed in the same breath. I thought, I'd like to be the reason for that sound for the rest of my life."
I couldn't speak.
"We'd talked for an hour and never traded names. I went for water so I could come back and ask properly."
He almost smiled.
"I stood at the bar and practiced. 'I'm Ellis. What's your name?' I said it to the bartender twice."
"And Rhett walked out."
"And you said thank you to him."
He didn't flinch.
"I could have walked up and said, that's my jacket. I'd already spent half my life letting him go first, and I thought, she'll learn the difference by morning." His throat moved. "I was wrong about that for five years."
I wiped my face with the back of my hand.
"Say the part you practiced," I said.
"Lucy."
"Say it. I never heard it."
He turned toward me on the rug, with the radiator ticking and the rain on the window.
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