Chapter 23: The Last Balance

He had cleaned the apartment, and he had not cooked.

There was a takeout bag on the counter, still sealed, and a blue spiral notebook on the table with a receipt taped to the cover.

"What's that?" I said.

"A gift."

"Gifts need a receipt."

"It's taped on." He pointed. "Four dollars and ninety-nine cents. I paid for it myself."

I peeled up the corner of the receipt and read the line.

"You bought a notebook for the next ledger."

"I bought a notebook," said Killian. "What goes in it is up to you."

I put my bag down and took out the green one, forty-one pages, soft at the corners.

I opened it to the last page and uncapped my pen.

Under his account, and under my word Received, I wrote: Closed. Balance $0.00. Carried forward: nothing.

Then I shut it and put it in his hands.

"You keep it," I said. "It's yours now."

"Althea."

"It's not a debt. It's a souvenir."

He held it against his chest with both arms and did not say anything.

I took the blue notebook off the table and put it on the arm of the couch.

"The first entry in that one is going to take a while," I said. "I'd like to be ready."

"What do you need?"

"For you to sit."

He sat on the couch.

I stood between his knees, still in my blazer, and took it off and dropped it on the floor.

He watched my hands go to the buttons of my blouse.

"I'll do it," he said.

"No, you won't."

I undid them one at a time, slowly, and let it fall open.

He put both hands on my waist and pressed his face against my stomach, and I felt him breathe out.