Chapter 10: Say It to My Face

Dara's POV

Hattie found me sitting on the edge of the wrecked bed, still in last night's shirt.

"Okay," she said, and shut the door. "I have thoughts."

"Don't."

"One. That man stood between you and a pack of wolves in your own yard.

"Two, I watched his face when Lucas said it, and he went gray."

"Hat."

"Three, if you throw him away over a thing a Corbin said, you're doing exactly what a Corbin wants."

She folded her arms.

"I'm ninety percent sure he's telling the truth. The other ten is because I haven't had coffee."

I laughed, and it came out half sob.

"Go find him," she said. "And ask him with your face. Not your Voice."

I found him in the east corridor, in an alcove outside the linen room.

He had a split cheek and dried blood down his collar.

He stood up when he saw me.

"Who did that?" I said.

"Does it matter?"

"Corbin." I answered it myself. "With the ring."

He didn't deny it.

"Say it to my face, then," I said.

"Last night. Did you sleep with me because he told you to?"

His eyes didn't leave mine.

"I don't know," he said.

I hadn't expected that.

"I don't know, Dara. That is the honest answer, and it's the worst one.

"The Order was spoken before dinner. It was weak, and it barely touched me.

"But I've spent seven years not knowing which of my wants are mine."

His voice cracked on the last word.

"And last night?" I said.

"Last night I would have crossed the Council hall on my knees for you. That much I know.

"Whether he put the first push behind it, I can't tell you."

My pulse was loud in my ears.

"Here is what I know," I said. "I was the one who asked. I opened the door. I turned the lock."

"Yes."

"I took your shirt off."

"Yes."

"If he pushed you, I pushed harder.

"So you can stop looking at me as if I were a wound."

He made a sound I couldn't name.

"There's more," he said. "I stood outside his study afterward.