They Said She Was Strong So They Never Had To Choose Her novel · Chapter 21 of 24

Chapter 21: Left Behind

I read it twice.

Then I looked at him.

He was already looking at me.

"Chile," I said.

"Chile."

"Boone, that's the telescope. That's the one that confirmed my comet."

"I know."

"Two years. Running it."

"I know."

He set the phone face down on the sheet.

"I'm going to write them back this morning," he said. "And say no."

The room got cold, even with the heater ticking under the window.

"Why would you say no?"

"Because you're here."

He said it like it was the easiest sum in the world.

I pulled the sheet up over my chest and sat back against the headboard beside him.

"When did you apply?"

"October. Before the catwalk. Before anything."

"And you wanted it."

"I wanted it in October."

"Do you still want it?"

He didn't answer.

That was an answer.

"Write them back yes," I said.

"Greer."

"Write them back yes, Boone."

He turned to look at me properly.

"I'm not leaving you seven months in."

"Six and a half."

"I'm rounding up."

"Don't make a joke. Not about this."

His jaw set.

"Fine. No joke. I'd rather run the old telescope with you and a bag of pistachios than run the big one alone."

My throat closed.

Nobody had ever said that to me.

Nobody had ever wanted to give something up for me.

And I couldn't let him.

"I won't be the reason somebody stays," I said.

"That's not your call."

"It is when I'm the reason."

"No. It's mine. I'm the one choosing."

"That's exactly what she did."

He went still.

"She asked three boys to stay, and they did," I said. "It cost all of us."

"I'm not them."

"I know you're not. That's why I won't let you."

He got out of bed and pulled on his jeans and stood at the window with his back to me.

Phoenix was pink and flat and endless below him.

"You're doing it again," he said.

"Doing what?"

"Being the one who doesn't need anything. So nobody has to give you anything."

That landed somewhere under my ribs.

"That's not fair."

"It's a little fair."

We drove back to Flagstaff in his truck with my roommate asleep across the back seat.

Nobody talked for two hours.

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