They Thought I Failed—Until I Turned Down Harvard novel · Chapter 9 of 24
Chapter 9: The Notebook
The welcome dinner had name tags, a slideshow, and a plate of dry chicken.
Flynn sat beside me at a long table in the dining hall, and whispered a running commentary into his napkin.
"That man with the lanyard is the dean. He once gave a speech about moss."
"Moss?"
"It was a metaphor. It did not land."
I laughed so suddenly that a girl across from us looked up from her pasta.
It was the first real laugh I had had in four weeks, and it surprised me.
Afterward we sat on the steps outside the library with two cups of terrible coffee.
It was dark by then, and the lamps along the quad were coming on.
"You said you had proof," Flynn said. "On the bench."
"Some."
"Show me."
I took the green notebook out of my bag.
It was the hospice notebook, the one I had carried for nineteen days.
The soft cover had gone gray at the corners, and there was a coffee ring on the front.
I had written in it every night under the bad light in that hallway.
I had written what Grandma ate, what the nurse said, what Aunt Jo said when she thought I was asleep.
I opened it to the first page, and handed it over.
He held it with both hands.
Day 1. Grandma knew me. She asked if I'd eaten. Vending machine only has one kind of cracker. Peanut butter, orange. Jo says they taste like carpet.
Day 6. She stopped talking this afternoon. The nurse says it can happen in a day. Squeeze twice for yes. I asked if she wanted the window open. Two squeezes.
He read for a long time.
He read the page where I had drawn the chair, badly, with one arm sticking out.
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