They Thought I Was Asleep, So I Let Them novel · Chapter 2 of 24

Chapter 2: Her Body Knows

Night one: Florian's fingers and Nils's low voice, her silence, and Florian stopping a breath before she comes.

I stayed still, and his hand stayed where it was.

It was warm, and it was heavy, and it had no business being there.

"Flo," Nils said, very softly. "Are we doing this?"

"I'm only touching her knee."

"Sure."

Florian's thumb moved once across the inside of my leg, and my whole body noticed.

I kept my eyes shut and my mouth slack.

I told myself I would open my eyes in a minute and say something.

Nothing in me wanted to.

The hand slid higher, taking its time.

My dress rose with it, over my thighs, until the air touched the damp edge of my underwear.

I had not known I was wet.

I had not known anything about myself since the microphone.

Nils had dropped to the floor beside the sofa, close enough that I felt his breath on my wrist.

"God," he said. "Look at her."

"I'm looking."

"She's so quiet. He never once made her loud."

"We don't know that."

"I know it. I watched her laugh at his jokes for three years."

Florian's finger slipped under the cotton and drew a single line along me, and I almost made a sound.

I turned it into a breath, a long sleeping one, and I hoped it was convincing.

"There," Florian said, very low. "She's soaked."

"She's asleep," Nils said.

"She's asleep and she's soaked."

Nobody laughed.

His finger went inside me, one, slowly, and then another, and the slowness ended.

He fucked me with them, hard and fast, in short deep strokes that pushed my hips into the cushion.

His thumb found my clit and pressed down.

My back wanted to arch. I held it flat against the sofa with everything I had.

"Oh, she likes that," Nils said. His voice had gone rough. "Look at her chest. Look what's happening to her."

I knew what was happening.

My nipples were hard against the silk of the dress, and I could not do one thing about it.

"She can't feel it," Florian said. "She's asleep. She doesn't know what she likes."

"Her body knows."

"Her body," Florian said, and curled his fingers, and I bit the inside of my cheek until it hurt.

He found something deep in me and rubbed it, once, twice, in time with his thumb.

My thighs began to shake.

The shaking was worse than a moan, because I could not stop it.

A sleeping woman had no way to explain it.

"She's trembling," Nils whispered.

"I see it."

"Make her come, Flo. Please. I want to see it."

"If she comes," Florian said, "it's on my hand, and she doesn't know whose it is."

Nils made a sound that was almost a laugh, and almost a groan.

The pressure was climbing in me, tight and high.

I thought: I'm going to come, in front of them, without a word.

Florian's thumb circled faster.

I was a breath away.

Then his fingers withdrew, all at once, and the room went cold and empty.

I came very close to whimpering. I turned it into a sigh and rolled my face deeper into the cushion.

"Why did you stop?" Nils asked. He sounded as wrecked as I felt.

"Because it's not enough." Florian stood. The sofa shifted. "Not like this."

"She was right there."

"I know exactly where she was."

A tap ran in the kitchen. He was washing his hands.

I lay there with my dress bunched at my waist and every inch of me throbbing.

I could not believe he had stopped.

The part of me that wanted to beg him back was the same part that had handed Pia a ring four hours earlier.

Nils drew the blanket up over my hips, very gently, and tucked it behind my knees.

He pulled my dress down first, I noticed, and he did it carefully.

The lamp clicked off.

At the door Florian stopped.

"Goodnight, Marit," he said.

I held perfectly still.

Nils crossed the room. He stood over me for a moment, and I felt him there.

"Goodnight, Marit," he said, and kissed the air a few centimetres above my hair.

Their footsteps went down the hall. A door closed, and another one.

I lay in the dark with my legs pressed tightly together.

I did not sleep at all.

Through the wall I heard Florian's voice, low and clear.

"Same time tomorrow," he said.

And Nils answered, "God, yes."

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