Chapter 9: What He Heard

Bastian's POV

I heard every word of it through the attic floor.

I heard my aunt say *You are family*, and I heard her count three heartbeats out loud.

I had known that voice for a hundred and seventy-five years.

She sang to me in it when my mother died.

I lay on the boards with my face against the dust and understood that I had never known her at all.

When the car left, I came down the ladder too fast and my knees nearly went.

Elspeth stood in the kitchen with her arms around herself.

She had poured the tea down the drain, and rinsed the cup twice, and put it on the rack.

I took her face in my hands because I had to touch her, and because she was warm.

She did not pull away.

It was something.

"Get the car keys," I said. "We leave now."

"No." Elspeth looked up at me with her hazel eyes, level and furious. "Not until you answer one thing. How long has she been doing it, Bastian?"

I wanted to lie to her, and I did not.

"Since the day I married you," I said. "Maybe before."

I let go.

I made myself walk to the window so she would not see my face.

Six weeks ago I had cut myself shaving, and the blood on the blade was red.

I stood in the tower bathroom and looked at it for a long time.

Then I wiped the razor, and sat on the edge of the tub, and did not tell anyone.

I knew what it meant before I could say it.

Something in me was dying, or something in me was becoming alive, and I could not tell which was worse.

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