You Drive Me Crazy novel · Chapter 12 of 24

Chapter 12: Eli Asks

I had rehearsed this question for six years, and every version of me had said something wise.

The real one knelt on the hall floor in a man's shirt and said, "Come here, bug."

Eli came, and I took both his hands.

They were warm and sticky with syrup.

"I'm going to tell you the truth," I said. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Yes. He is."

Eli looked up at Cade.

Cade had gone down on one knee too, slowly, wincing, and he kept his hands on his own thighs.

"I didn't know about you," Cade said. "Not until a little while ago. If I had known, I'd have been there. I want you to hear that part first."

"Why didn't you know?"

"Because I was stupid, and your mom had good reasons to leave, and I didn't find her."

"Were you looking?"

"For seven years."

"That's a long time."

"It was."

Eli considered this with great seriousness.

"Did you look in the wrong place?"

Cade made a sound that was half a laugh and half something else.

"Yeah, buddy. I looked in Ohio."

"Nobody's in Ohio," Eli said.

I put a fist against my mouth to keep from laughing, and then I was crying instead, and I couldn't stop.

Eli patted my arm without looking at me.

"It's okay, Mom. Mr. Cade's a good guy. He let me hold a torque wrench."

"I know."

"He's got a really nice drawer."

"A drawer?"

"For the sockets. It's in order."

"I know, baby."

"Is that why I draw nines?"

"I don't know," Cade said, very low. "Maybe. Maybe it's just something that's in you."

Eli looked at the scar on Cade's arm.

"Does this mean I have a wall too?"

"God, I hope not."

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