A Happy Family Without Me novel · Chapter 12 of 24

Chapter 12: The Night Of

We ate the soup standing at the counter, because neither of us wanted to sit down.

It was good. It tasted of pepper and bay leaf, and I finished the bowl.

"Poppy's asleep," I said, and put the spoon in the sink. "Her door is closed. The stairs creak on the fourth step."

"I'll step over it."

"I'm not asking out of grief."

"I know that."

"Say it plainly," I said. "I need to hear it plainly, once."

He took the bowl out of my hand and set it down.

"I've wanted you for two years," Torsten said. "Since before he left. I'd watch you carry groceries up the walk alone, and I wanted to take every bag out of your hands."

My breath went out of me.

"I'm not pitying anyone," he said. "I'm standing in your kitchen because you're the only person I want to be standing next to."

"Good," I said. "That's all I wanted."

I took his collar in both fists and pulled him down.

This time there was no blood and no swab and no excuse.

He kissed me slowly and deeply, with his hand spread at the back of my skull.

I heard myself make a sound I hadn't made in years.

I walked him backward until his shoulders hit the pantry door.

He lifted me by the waist and set me on the counter, and the bread rolled off onto the floor.

"Leave it," I said, and pulled his jacket down his arms.

Underneath he wore a flannel shirt, soft with washing.

I undid the buttons one at a time and pushed my palms flat over his chest.

He was hard-muscled and warm, with old scars across his ribs.

A line of dark hair ran down under his belt.

He watched my hands.

"Your turn," he said, and drew my sweater up and over my head.

He looked at me for a long moment in the kitchen light.

"God," he said. "Fenella."

He bent and put his mouth on my collarbone, then lower, over the edge of my bra.

I tipped my head back against the cabinet.

His hand slid up my ribs, found the clasp and undid it with one flick.

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