A Secret in Her Father's House, A Pregnancy Neither Can Hide novel · Chapter 21 of 24

Chapter 21: Janice's Table

Janice opened the door in an apron.

She had her reading glasses on their chain and her hair freshly set, and she looked ten years older than she had on the porch in Astoria.

"You came," she said.

"I said I would."

"You said a lot of things, in that kitchen."

"Mom."

"I know. Come in."

The house in Portland was brick and tidy, with a clock in the hall and a runner on the stairs.

Her mother's second husband was at the golf course, as he always was on Sundays, and had left a note on the fridge that said Good luck.

Alana stood in the kitchen.

She had eaten at this table every holiday since she was twelve, and she had never once been afraid of it.

Janice set out two bowls of soup.

She sat, and did not pick up her spoon.

"I wrote you a speech," she said. "I wrote it four times. I'm not going to give it."

"Why not?"

"Because every time I read it, it was about me."

Alana waited.

Her mother took off her glasses and pressed her fingers to her eyes.

"I want to ask you something first. Did he make you?"

"No."

"Think before you answer."

"I have thought. For two months." Alana's voice was steady. "He told me I could leave. He told me four times."

"Four."

"He booked me a motel room before I even got there."

Janice looked up.

"He did what?"

"He printed the reservation and put it on the table under the pepper grinder. He said it was an exit."

Janice made a sound that was not quite a laugh.

"That's him," she said. "That's exactly him. He'd hand you a map and stand back. Twelve years I was married to that man, and he never once asked me for a single thing."

"Mom."

"Do you know why I left?"

"You said he never fought for us."

"I said that to everyone, and it's true." Janice's mouth shook. "But it isn't why."

"Then why?"

"I left because I wanted to be asked. I wanted him to say, stay, I need you, and he wouldn't."

She looked at the table.

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