Broken Oaths in White Coats novel · Chapter 11 of 24
Chapter 11: What She Signed
The chairman folded his hands on the table and waited.
I understood that he was not going to ask me anything else.
I would have to say the rest myself.
"I signed it on the ninth of March," I said. "At two in the morning, at my kitchen table."
Alastair's face did not change.
"It was six years to the week since we lost our baby. I was sixteen weeks along."
A board member at the middle of the table looked down at her notes.
"My husband went to work the next morning. In six years he has never said a word about it. Not once, and not at the grave."
"Laurel," Alastair said.
"I'm not finished."
He stopped.
"I stopped asking him to talk about it after the first year. I told myself it was his way. I operated, and he operated, and we ate dinner at nine and said good night."
I looked at the chairman, because I could not look at Alastair.
"In March I wrote the papers. I signed them. I could not hand them over."
"Why?" the chairman asked.
"Because I wanted him to ask me once what was wrong, and I wanted to be able to tell him." My voice stayed level. "And he never asked."
Nobody said anything.
"That was my choice, and I'll own it. I was leaving him, and I let him believe I wasn't, for seven months. He's right that I should have told him."
I turned to my husband then.
"But I did not sleep with a resident half my age. I did not hand my patient to a surgeon who had never done it alone."
"And I did not send security to throw you out of a room you had earned."
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